Congratulations to Year 8 student Eleni Chapman on her success in four writing competitions this term. Eleni received 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in the Silver Quill Writing Competition poetry section, 1st place in the Hilarie Lindsay Young Writers Poetry Competition, 1st place in the CJ Dennis Bush Poetry Competition, and 1st place in both the short story and poetry sections of the National Cherry Festival Writing Competition. Â
Here is one of Eleni’s winning entries, “Please Mrs Dennis”, a poetic parody of Allan Ahlberg’s “Please Mrs Butler”. Â
A modernised parody of “Please Mrs Butler” by Allan Ahlberg
“Please Mrs Dennis, this laptop of mine
Keeps beeping and flashing, miss, and I can’t get online!”
“Then put it on charge, dear, or wipe down the keys,
I’m still trying to sort out today’s absentees!”
“Please Mrs Dennis, this laptop of mine
Keeps deleting my work, miss, and I can’t get online!”
“Go and take it next door, dear, go and stand in the sun!
I’ve got twenty-eight essays and marks to be done!”
“Please Mrs Dennis, this laptop of mine
Keeps closing my tabs, miss, and I can’t get online!”
“Just use a friend’s, dear, or ask for a pass
I can’t help you now, while I’m teaching the class!”
“Please Mrs Dennis, this laptop of mine
Keeps logging me out, miss, and I can’t get online!”
“Then go to the office, dear, and ask them to check
That the WiFi’s still working – oh this blasted tech!”
“Please Mrs Dennis, this laptop of mine
It just won’t behave, miss, and I can’t get online!”
“Oh for goodness sake, heaven, these children of mine!
I SHOULD HAVE JUST GONE INTO GRAPHIC DESIGN!”
